Weekly perpetuity

 All good things come to an end,but I was wishing you could stay.

I guess you and me didn’t even have a start.So it never began,it never had a breaking point or an ending.It was a continuous perpetual feeling that was just simply there all along the way.You know how much I love the beginnings.And I guess that what we had,that little we had,that little I thought we had, is the beginning of something wonderful in my life.Maybe I had to leave you because you weren’t a shining star anymore,it was just the memory of it.Maybe I had to write the last letter to you at 3 am,because you started to become toxic and I couldn’t breathe freely anymore. I promised I would  not write to you or about you again,but it has been so long with you,it feels impossible. I promised that to myself,but I still think of you.I still think of you when they ask me about my bright future plans.I still think of you when life seems hard and I look for things or people to find its meaning. I still think of you when that song comes on. I still think of you when I walk through the city streets.And how could I move on? As always I say the first step is remove everything you have from him in your life,everything that reminds you of him. But now I know that’s nearly impossible.You wanna know why?

I may delete our conversations,but one Monday afternoon,they will pop into my mind like fresh thoughts.

I may delete our songs playlist,but one Tuesday morning,one of those songs will start playing on my favorite coffee shop.

I may delete my writings, but one Wednesday evening,I will be reading a new book and a sentence will always remind me of how you used to fill me up.

I may stop talking about you,but one Thursday spring day,down the city streets that smell like you,I will meet a friend I haven’t caught up in a while and they will ask me about you,they all know how important you are to me.

I may get busy and start living,but one Friday evening,I will recall the way you made me accomplish more than I ever will.

I may start kissing strangers,but one Saturday midnight,your memory of how perfect it was will break me down and not even vodka will be able not heal.

I may stop drunk texting you,but one Sunday afternoon,I will suddenly see you on that same spot on the same city and that will fuck me up for so long.

You have become part of every step I will ever take,and it’s impossible to let you go.You felt like home,that’s why I should learn to live gently with you in there.

 Break a little,hope a little,love a little.Because that’s the only way to live a little.


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