Warmth and safety

                


The beginning
"Stupid reactions,remember?"
                        After all, how scary would it be to forget how perfect you felt?


Feeling confused by my actual state of mind. I even wonder if it is still my mind playing the game. Because lately nothing seems to be logical. Lately everything seems to be worth feeling and not thinking about. Isn’t it scary knowing the things you know but still feeling the emotions wrong? Can emotions be wrong though? Isn’t it such a misinterpretation of the human brain cells?
                                                        Mind or heart?
The everlasting battle has caught me in between, trying to survive. Actually how can you even choose one and ignore the other? The feelings will always be there and you can’t change them. But you can change your thoughts, the way your perspective sometimes sees them blurry. How wrong can it be; loving the idea of destructing yourself in the process of feeling? How wrong can it be loving the feeling of warmth and safety someone gives you? Is it that wrong letting your soul get touched by everyone, everything, every human or not that has ever existed? Don’t you love the idea of letting yourself get destroyed by the splash of emotions that make every single cell question their existence?  
                                                  1.5 years of being high for this ?
 Both a blessing and a curse.

And you, little human out there, that has been lately making me feel every single emotion, even if there is not an existing word to describe them, I have to thank you, I want to thank you.

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The end
"Warmth and safety,remember?"
Once again, I’m feeling the way I felt the second I was born. Wrecked by every emotion, every thought, all in the same moment, and all in the same person. And what I’m scared of, right now? Forgetting how perfect I felt. Forgetting that this is the way humans feel sometimes. Forgetting to be real.


So please, come back and give me the feeling of warmth and safety like a bonfire on a chilly winter night. Fuck me up again.
                                                                                   Ana

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